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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29690535">In Love With Despair</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/writers_blockonloop/pseuds/writers_blockonloop'>writers_blockonloop</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, F/F, F/M, Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), M/M, Multi, Must Read</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:13:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,073</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29690535</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/writers_blockonloop/pseuds/writers_blockonloop</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Monokuma even with all the hassle, chaos, and constant despair the bear brings, you can't help but have your heartache when he leaves the room. Sure the bear makes you kill your friends but for some reason you can't exactly despise him the way the others do. You can't help the blossoming in your chest when he cackles and grins, and the scarlet red that spreads across your face when he looks your way. What will you do with this bear... On the other hand Chihiro is gone and you grow closer to Aoi, little do you find out Monokuma despises this. Why?...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Asahina Aoi/Reader, Monokuma (Dangan Ronpa)/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>In Love With Despair</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Lord forgive me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The morning announcement wakes you, Monokuma's voice already echoing in your room. You can't help but scowl as you shift from your side, turning towards your nightstand. You unsteadily lift yourself up, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you squint at the screen hung up at the corner of the room. Only to see Monokuma cackling about something. Probably a dumb bear pun he made this morning, he always seemed to be easily amused... You roll your eyes as you finally stand up scanning the room, even after still standing here after the past two trials you seem to not have adjusted to this room at all. How could you?...your friends were dying and all that could fill your heart was despair. You space out for a second...recalling the last trial, remembering the deaths that took place sent chills down your spine. As if cue, you hear your door slam open, snapping you out of your gaze, and there stood the bear. Your eyes widened, and even if you were clearing in distress, despair biting at your throat, you couldn't help but feel a tinge of happiness fill your heart. Monokuma is always grinning about something, and you never knew what. Unless it was during class trials that is...you cough, and clear your throat. You raise your voice a bit to speak to the despair hungry bear trying not to snap on him, afterall he may be small but he is the headmaster. Afterall, you remember seeing what happened to Junko. "What do you want?" Your voice was slightly shaky, unsure what the bear really wanted, he usually only bursts into your room to immediately cackle at how messy you look, or how dirty your room is. Monokuma tapped his foot like he wasn't exactly sure why he was here either, he actually looked a bit embarrased that he had no reason to be standing in your room. Because in all honesty, there wasn't one. Monokuma's usually cocky grin seems to have fallen a bit, as he taps his chin in thought. "Hm...now that you mention it-" he blinks for a second. He then rubs the back of his neck nervously and shakes his head. "The others want everyone in the cafeteria and it seemed they forgot to take count of you. I knew they would forget you too since you really do have no one here. After all Chihiro did die last trial!!" Monokuma grins as you recall one of your only friend's being murdered by Mondo in the last trial. You flinch at the memory of Chihiro's body tied up, limp. Your breathing grows unsteady as Monokuma's grin seems to break for a second, only to break out in laughter as you sit on your bed, now shaking. You give a heavy sigh, glaring at the bear. You remember the words Makoto said, how everyone will always be by your side, and that they're all in this together. They'll make it out alive, and destroy Monokuma along with this killing game. Tears stain your version but you close your eyes to prevent them from spilling, and you shake your head in disagreement. "Chihiro was my friend, and although they're gone, everyone else still has my back...I am only alone because losing Chihiro wasn't easy. The others just respect I need time, e-even if we don't have much of it. You can't get into my head you stupid bea-" The door gently opens to reveal Aoi standing at the door, her expression seemed uneasy, still shattered by losing more classmates. She smiles as much as she can, "Y/N, I noticed you were running a little late!! I was told to make sure you were alright, after all..." She stops for a second, and pauses midsentence. You aren't stupid, so you knew why she paused. "N-Nevermind, I-" Aoi's expression completely shifts when she takes account Monokuma was standing in the room and her eyes widen. She allows herself into the room and grabs you suddenly by the wrist like she just saw a ghost, and wanted to get away from it as quick as possible. She doesn't say anything to the bear, as he yells about how he wasn't done talking with you, and just tugs you along hurriedly to the cafeteria with the others. Your heart beats quicker alarmed by how urgent she's pulling you away. She didn't say anything to you either, as if she went mute. You can only believe you were heading to the cafeteria, but she ended up pulling you to an empty classroom, making you blink confused. She takes a second to put her words together, the expressions on her face making it very obvious she wanted the sentence to come out correctly. She suddenly grabs your shoulders making you flinch, and stares into your eyes. "Did Monokuma do anything to you? You seemed like on the verge of losing it." She simply states, the direct eye contact makes your face turn bright red as you desperately look around the classroom avoiding the Ultimate Swimmer's eyes. "He-" you wish to look down but it's hard to do that when she has you by the shoulders and it can be taken the wrong way. You look to the side, confused to tell the truth or to tell her he was just making fun of your small possessions scattered amongst the room. Knowing Aoi takes loss really badly, you bite your lip and sigh. Knowing you know you can't tell the truth, you'll both be on the floor crying. "He was laughing at me because I am obviously late to the cafeteria is all. You don't need to worry yourself so much, although based on your expression when you walked in you aren't taken the...events very well." Aoi's grip on your shoulders loosen greatly, and the pain is very obvious in her eyes. Her hands slowly slide off your shoulders and her arms now fall to her sides. You can tell she is recalling everything again, tears pooling in her eyes as you remember the forced smile on her face when she walked into your room. All you can really do is hug the girl, as she takes a moment to collapse into your hug of warmth and comfort, her sobs muffled as she nuzzles into your shoulder silencing herself in your sweater. "Aoi...we'll make it out of this, together I promise...I am so sorry we're in this mess, but I know we'll make it out alive. We will find the way out. I-...I know we will." Aoi can't help but cry more, she can't handle it, the sight of her friends being executed, the pain of hearing another friend has been announced dead, she can't handle any of it. You'd be lying if you said you were able to handle it yourself, Chihiro dying shattered you, and you stayed in your room as long as you could. Which wasn't much time. Your breathing is shaky again, Aoi crying in your arms wasn't easy for you to handle, and the words you just told her you weren't even sure they were true. The thought of getting out of here, only made your eyes darken with more despair, because you don't know if you'll survive. You don't know if any of you would make it. You didn't know what would happen, and it made you panic. You bit back your tears, and hugged Aoi tighter. You liked being a comfort, and you couldn't stand breaking down in front of others. You wanted to show you were strong, so even if it hurt, you blinked back the tears, and you both melted onto the floor. You already expected this as an outcome, but you tried to avoid it as it being one. The others may question why you both were late, and may even come looking for you before you two even get up. You just wanted to make sure Aoi was okay, and that's what you're gonna do.</p><p>______________________________________________________</p><p>Unsure how long you two were in the classroom, Aoi finally decides to get up, her eyes red and puffy from crying so much. The pressure this girl must have for always trying to smile for everyone...it's painful for you to imagine it. In fact, you are seeing it now. You don't know why but the respect you have for Aoi is very high, she really does try her best no matter what. You sigh, as you help her stand up. Her eyes seem to be falling to the floor, something uncommon to see Aoi do. She being an athlete, you assume she should be very boastful, proud, and usually pressure you into eye contact and speaking with a clear voice. Though Aoi usually being energetic and helping others, smiling and supporting...she seemed a bit unsteady, and lost. That was okay though because the reason why was very clear, and if anyone commented on it when you went to the cafeteria you'd shut the question down for her. Aoi glances up to look you in the eyes for a moment, before looking at the ground again. She mutters softly "I...thank you..." She obviously didn't know what to say since she usually tried her best to hide her pain, and support everyone else who was mourning instead. In fact from your knowledge her true emotions only really showed around Sakura. Aoi was very sensitive, easy to read, and didn't exactly know how to not be so expressive. She again, always tries her best though. Your eyes are mixed with your own despair, but sympathy glows stronger, as your eyes gaze into Aoi's, a sympathetic smile gently spreads on your face. "I hope you know you don't have to try to hide so much...I have your back like you have mine-" you blink, and add on. "AND EVERYONE ELSES OF COURSE." You spit out quickly as Aoi wipes her eye, raises an eyebrow, and smiles questioning you for a second scanning you. "I-...yeah...you're right!" She quickly says, her cheeky grin starting to show, and she seems to glance around for a clock noticing they've sat in this room for almost 30 minutes. Aoi's eyes widen, as she gasps, "WHY DIDN'T YOU SHUT ME UP SOONER? COME ON WE GOTTA GO-" She grabs you by the wrist like earlier, but this time she's running, and you try not to stumble. You two race down the halls, towards the cafeteria, and almost crash into Makoto. Makoto seems to have been scanning around, and he seemed very unsteady, panicked. His eyes meet yours and Aoi's, and he sighs with relief, walking over to you with a very upset expression on his face. "Where exactly were you two? We thought something happened, everyone is scattered looking for you two since Aoi never came back with you." Aoi and you glance at each other, and you quickly come up with an excuse. "I didn't want to leave my room, so Aoi comforted me, and got me to get up." Makoto's eyes widen slightly, and he looks at you both, Aoi's eyes meeting yours, she seemed thankful for you not mentioning the situation. Makoto would of tried to help out what had already passed, and make things a bit worse. Makoto shook his head, and sighed. "Well...we gotta find everyone and dismiss them to their rooms. Since you two are okay I don't want everyone running around for no reason..." Makoto tells us to find the others, and we do so. Aoi runs off one direction as you run off to the other. 
______________________________________________________</p><p>You seem to have been looking around for quite a while. It also seems you have come to the realization you are not gonna find anybody. Glancing around the quiet halls, you sigh, Aoi must of found them all... You shrug to yourself, and decide to turn back, only to see Monokuma behind you, making you jump. "Hello Y/N. That was QUITE RUDE OF YOU TO RUN OFF LIKE THAT. DON'T YOU THINK?" The bear seems quite upset as he walks slightly closer. You seem to blink at him, unsure what he really wants you to say. You had to listen to him at certain times but this is one you can actually just ignore. The thing is...a part of you doesn't want to.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Literally wtf am I doing anymore, here take it</p></blockquote></div></div>
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